“Woman on Fire”

“The painting has a life of its own. I try to let it come through.” - JACKSON POLLOCK

After a week and a half of devotion to her, I stared into the eye of the woman on fire that lay before me. This piece was symbolic. The day before I left Pennsylvania to set out on the Pilgrimage, my grandmother gave me a Christmas present of a diamond art she had created. As I unwrapped the frame, she was elated with excitement and a gleam shimmered in her eye. My jaw dropped and before I could say a word, she said “it reminded me so much of you” with a proud smile on her face. My Nana means the world to me. She has been the matriarch of our family, raising and teaching all the women in her care to be independent, strong, and determined. Nana is the one that I credit for instilling the love for travel, adventure, and experience in me from such a young age. To be gifted this creation by her and to be seen by her in the form of art, inspired me to paint my own rendition of it.

As I gaped at the gift, wrapping paper still on my lap, the feelings and emotions that bubbled up in me was intense. It felt like peering into a mirror. To see the woman’s stillness as she sat in a peaceful position, soaking up nature. The use of sunflowers, gold and blues, and fine detail allowed the picture to keep opening up more and more with each shift of your perspective. I knew I had to paint her. I knew that she would teach me lessons along the way.

The true beauty comes out through the care and attention of layers. I have not painted as much in my life as I’ve drawn. Pencil and eraser has been my medium of choice because I could erase, I could blend, and I could transport it to and fro to access it easily in my busy schedule. To paint though, all techniques were different. In my artistic experience, I avoided paint in the fear of using color, and the fear of messing something up that I could not erase with my trusty pencil. Painting the woman on fire taught me that layering is essential. As I started with the landscape backdrop, then her hair, then the sunflower, and then the foreground, I learned that I actually can make mistakes. I could go over them with another color. I could use water to pull up what I didn’t like and reverse time to before I messed up. I could do crisp lines or blend two colors together. Life is layers. We are constantly adding on layers in the form of responsibilities, identities, and experiences. It may not be comfortable to shed them when needed but we always have the choice to do so. The mosaic of who we are as humans though, comes from the layers cultivated throughout our lives, and there’s such a precious beauty in that.

The completion of this piece was more than meaningful. As the 4th painting I’ve completed since starting the Pilgrimage, it perfectly lined up with officially being on the journey for 4 weeks, to the day. The number four represents foundation, stability, and grounding. Think of the four corners in a room, or four elements, or four navigational directions. The four provides a completion, a solidity, and a sound structure. Roughly two weeks ago at the new moon, I set an intention of “growing roots deep within myself”. This painting feels like those roots taking fruition in the creativity I’m remembering. Today is also the full moon. It is in the sign of Leo which is all about bringing out your inner fire, your queen/ king mentality, and standing in your power. Yesterday during a tarot reading given to me by a friend, the final card said “ignite fire within”. All these representations of fire coursing through the hair of the woman sitting in the painting as she so presently is grounded to the earth. Today is symbolic. I am

more connected with myself than I ever have been before, and I say that with wholehearted confidence. What a true blessing this Pilgrimage is.